Monday, June 23, 2014

Still Standing...


 Wow. It's been quite some time since I have put up a blog post. There is a reason for it of course... I'm in the process of getting a divorce. The last time I blogged, the separation was new. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to handle the emotional pain and confusion I was feeling. Now, I'm four months into my separation... and, thankfully, I'm doing much better.

I've spent a lot of time trying to sort through the feelings that accompany the end of a marriage. The shame, the embarrassment, the failure, and the sadness were almost too much to handle some days.  Thanks to some wonderful friends and family (and a great therapist provided by Military One Source), I've been able to come to terms with a lot of this mess. I'm slowly realizing that I did everything that I could to save my marriage.

Some people may look back on their failed marriage and think that it was a waste of time. Or maybe that it wasn't worth the trouble. At this point, I can honestly say that I don't regret one second of my marriage. Are there things I could have done differently? Of course. Did I waste the last almost-seven years on a bad relationship? No. My marriage to Mr. Duh blessed me in so many ways. When he and I met, I was an insecure 24 year old girl working a sh*tty job, struggling to get through school, and having a difficult time loving and treating myself well. Marrying Mr. Duh changed so many things for the better. I'm coming out of my marriage with two Masters degrees, a good job, and two wonderful dogs. I'm also a confident and happy person, and I don't think I could have become the woman I am without the support of my spouse. The adventures of military life also helped me to grow and change in ways I never thought I could...

Today, movers are arriving to load up Mr. Duh's half of the house. It's a bittersweet day (more bitter than sweet...). The splitting up of the things and packing the house has definitely shown me that I'm not done mourning this loss... but I am also full of hope. I'm going to work hard to make the most of this new beginning.

6 comments:

  1. You have an amazing outlook and you are going to be great! :)

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  2. I can't even imagine the dividing of belongings. I think you are handling this with such grace, and quite the optimistic outlook! Sending you warm thoughts!

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    1. Yes, dividing things is hard. Everything we have is 'Ours'... We accumulated it all together. Thank you for the kind words!

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  3. I am so sorry for all of the pain this brings with it. I wish you the best and I know you are going to continue to be amazing, no matter where life takes you next.

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  4. I wish you all the best, Whitney! You deserve it!

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