Monday, June 23, 2014

Still Standing...

 Wow. It's been quite some time since I have put up a blog post. There is a reason for it of course... I'm in the process of getting a divorce. The last time I blogged, the separation was new. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to handle the emotional pain and confusion I was feeling. Now, I'm four months into my separation... and, thankfully, I'm doing much better.

I've spent a lot of time trying to sort through the feelings that accompany the end of a marriage. The shame, the embarrassment, the failure, and the sadness were almost too much to handle some days.  Thanks to some wonderful friends and family (and a great therapist provided by Military One Source), I've been able to come to terms with a lot of this mess. I'm slowly realizing that I did everything that I could to save my marriage.

Some people may look back on their failed marriage and think that it was a waste of time. Or maybe that it wasn't worth the trouble. At this point, I can honestly say that I don't regret one second of my marriage. Are there things I could have done differently? Of course. Did I waste the last almost-seven years on a bad relationship? No. My marriage to Mr. Duh blessed me in so many ways. When he and I met, I was an insecure 24 year old girl working a sh*tty job, struggling to get through school, and having a difficult time loving and treating myself well. Marrying Mr. Duh changed so many things for the better. I'm coming out of my marriage with two Masters degrees, a good job, and two wonderful dogs. I'm also a confident and happy person, and I don't think I could have become the woman I am without the support of my spouse. The adventures of military life also helped me to grow and change in ways I never thought I could...

Today, movers are arriving to load up Mr. Duh's half of the house. It's a bittersweet day (more bitter than sweet...). The splitting up of the things and packing the house has definitely shown me that I'm not done mourning this loss... but I am also full of hope. I'm going to work hard to make the most of this new beginning.


  1. You have an amazing outlook and you are going to be great! :)

  2. I can't even imagine the dividing of belongings. I think you are handling this with such grace, and quite the optimistic outlook! Sending you warm thoughts!

    1. Yes, dividing things is hard. Everything we have is 'Ours'... We accumulated it all together. Thank you for the kind words!

  3. I am so sorry for all of the pain this brings with it. I wish you the best and I know you are going to continue to be amazing, no matter where life takes you next.

  4. I wish you all the best, Whitney! You deserve it!