Monday, June 23, 2014

Still Standing...


 Wow. It's been quite some time since I have put up a blog post. There is a reason for it of course... I'm in the process of getting a divorce. The last time I blogged, the separation was new. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to handle the emotional pain and confusion I was feeling. Now, I'm four months into my separation... and, thankfully, I'm doing much better.

I've spent a lot of time trying to sort through the feelings that accompany the end of a marriage. The shame, the embarrassment, the failure, and the sadness were almost too much to handle some days.  Thanks to some wonderful friends and family (and a great therapist provided by Military One Source), I've been able to come to terms with a lot of this mess. I'm slowly realizing that I did everything that I could to save my marriage.

Some people may look back on their failed marriage and think that it was a waste of time. Or maybe that it wasn't worth the trouble. At this point, I can honestly say that I don't regret one second of my marriage. Are there things I could have done differently? Of course. Did I waste the last almost-seven years on a bad relationship? No. My marriage to Mr. Duh blessed me in so many ways. When he and I met, I was an insecure 24 year old girl working a sh*tty job, struggling to get through school, and having a difficult time loving and treating myself well. Marrying Mr. Duh changed so many things for the better. I'm coming out of my marriage with two Masters degrees, a good job, and two wonderful dogs. I'm also a confident and happy person, and I don't think I could have become the woman I am without the support of my spouse. The adventures of military life also helped me to grow and change in ways I never thought I could...

Today, movers are arriving to load up Mr. Duh's half of the house. It's a bittersweet day (more bitter than sweet...). The splitting up of the things and packing the house has definitely shown me that I'm not done mourning this loss... but I am also full of hope. I'm going to work hard to make the most of this new beginning.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Parting is Such Sh*tty Sorrow...


As you may have noticed, I have been silent in the blogosphere for a couple months. I'm briefly emerging from the shadows today to say that Mr. Duh and I have decided to end our marriage.

Even though the decision is mutual and this is ending as amicably as a marriage can... We've both been taken aback by how painful this experience is. The feelings of failure, embarrassment and shame are overwhelming. Anyone who has ever thought of divorce as taking "the easy way out" has obviously never been in this position. Easy is not a term I would apply to our situation.

We are spending the next little while determining how to divide all of the things we have accumulated over our eight years together and working out the physical/financial/emotional logistics of separating.

I'm not sure what will become of this blog, now that my misadventures through military life are coming to an end. That, and I won't be a "Mrs." anymore. Life does go on, though. After the grief and sorrow have been worked through, I pray that hope for a happy future can emerge.


Monday, January 13, 2014

Menu Planning Monday - January 13th, 2014


 I'm back from the Caribbean! We hit some bad weather along the way, so there wasn't much to do except eat and drink. I tried my best to stay Paleo while on the ship, but it's hard to be sure what is in the food when you aren't the one preparing it... so I am excited to cook all my own meals this week. After a long vacation of drinking and eating, I'm ready to get back on track.

Here's what's on the menu at Cafe Duh this week (head over to Orgjunkie.com and link up your menu, too):

*All of these recipes and grain-free and gluten-free*

Monday - Pizza Spaghetti Pie and a side of Sauteed Spinach. Excited to try this because it looks simple and will also satisfy my current obsession with spaghetti squash!

Courtesy of PaleOMG

Tuesday - Leftovers.

Wednesday - Crockpot Pulled Pork Chili. Chili and pulled pork? Yes, please!!

Courtesy of PaleOMG
 Thursday - Artichoke Lemon Chicken Pasta. Like I said, I'm currently obsessed with spaghetti squash.

Courtesy of PaleOMG
 Friday -  Steaks, sweet potato mash, and brussel sprouts.

What are you cooking up this week?